Memories RQ (BilboxReader)

“Bilbo are you looking at those old battle souvenirs again?” You walk into the study room, where books were stacked to the ceiling. Your life partner stands in the midst of the towers, gazing at a gigantic claw in his hands. He got like this sometimes, reliving his adventures, ignoring the rest of the world. Sometimes you could get him to come back to the present and tell you what he was thinking, but most of the time he didn’t even hear you calling to him.

There was nothing pressing that required Bilbo’s presence so you pull up a chair and rest your hands on his knees.

“Bilbo.” There was no response. “Bilbo,” you call again and little firmer.  “Supper is ready.”

The hobbit finally surfaces from the memories blinking the haze from his eyes.

“What did you say?”

“I said, ‘Supper is ready,’” you repeat biting back a laugh. “Won’t you tell me what you were thinking about.”

“Maybe over supper. What is there tonight?” He gets up to follow you to the dining room. The large table seems even bigger when it was just the two of you sitting together.

“Boiled potatoes, baked cheese bread, gravy and meat pie. Sorry it’s not much tonight.”

“No, no it’s perfect.”

You sit down next to him and take your fair share of the food. The majority of the meal is passed in silence, the only things breaking it the click of silverware against plates. Finally, as the plates are cleared you decide to ask the same question you always asked.

“So what were you thinking about earlier?” Bilbo sets his fork down  and sits back in his chair.

“Just about the trip.”

You roll your eyes. “I knew that, but what part of it were you thinking about?”

Despite being together for over a year, you knew very little about his journey. When he first arrived back to the Shire he seemed completely normal, but as time went on the memories seemed to bother him more and more instead of less.  

You met him at the market only a few days after he returned to the Shire. He invited you to dinner and things progressed steadily from there.

Bilbo doesn’t answer right away, instead his eyes glaze over again and you fear that you’ve lost him to the memories. Just as you’re about to admit defeat he looks back at you with clear eyes.

“Just the last bit.” You still don’t know what the last bit of the journey was, but you’ll take the answer as progress.

“Do you ever miss the adventure?”

“The excitement of it all and meeting so many new people maybe. But the fighting and monsters, no.” Bilbo stands up and takes some of the plates into the kitchen. You take a few and follow him.

“Why don’t you tell me what worries you? Maybe I can help.”

“I wish you could. However, I’m not so sure there’s anything left to help.” This statement only confuses you more, but you’re determined not to lose the conversation like you have so many times before.

“Maybe you should write it all down. Get the memories out of your head and on to paper, and then maybe they won’t bother you so much.”

Bilbo doesn’t show his opinion of your suggestion so you resign yourself to washing the dishes. Afterwards, the two of you sit together in front of the fire. The silence is heavy so you excuse yourself to bed after a few minutes. Once you’re at the doorway, Bilbo mutters something that you don’t understand.

“What was that?” you turn to look at his silhouette.

“It’s a good idea,” he repeats.

“What is?”

“Writing it all down. It might work.”

You nod and smile even though you know he can’t see you. “I’m glad you think so. You should try it. Just for a little.”

“I think I will.” You turn back around and start to walk to your shared bedroom. “I love you   (First Name)  "

You’re taken a bit by surprise, and it takes you a little while to get a reply out. “I love you too Bilbo. And I always will.”